Desperate to keep connected.
I regret whatever left behind. I was a cold, plastic person. Truthfully, I had never like myself. I always have been disgusted with who I am and who I had become. At one point, I just thought, maybe I'm better off dead. I always think of many ways how to commit suicide without people having to know. It is utterly impossible. I hold my breathe under water. Hoping all my pain would ease away. If only life was this easy, I'd love to kiss my troubles away.
I'd imagined myself. Happy, cheerful, friendly and the one that people look up to. I would be talking, socializing 24/7. I admired those people with lots of people walltowall them on Facebook. To set things clear, I envy them. I want to be just like them, having friends who would support my back no matter what shit coming through.
I've ditched the old me. Started a whole new chapter in my life. I tried avoiding vulgarities word. Help me. I need guidance to survive this world.
Not happy within,